I sat in the meeting and listened to the guy who took it upon himself to drive the meeting. As he has done before, he spoke with much self-importance. He had all the answers and he wanted to demonstrate this whether it was true or not. Who does this guy think he is. We all make the same money, work on the same project, yet he is the self-appointed leader?
To be important seems to be the driver behind this guy’s motivation. I might not like his approach, but don’t I have this same desire to be important? Not only do I want to be important, I want to be viewed as important. Of course, it is an ego thing and one that I need to deal with personally. But it is something that we all desire: to matter. And as the great psychologist and philosopher William James once said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
I am quick to judge another person’s desire for importance. But here I am, the same. Wouldn’t it be better for me add value to the meeting, rather than obsess about this nonsense? Why not listen and contribute when the time is right? If all desire appreciation, why not make an ally of this team member and show my appreciation for his work?
Marcus Aurelius asked the question: Does it make any difference to you if other people blame you for doing what is right? It is a good question and one we should consider. It shouldn’t make a difference, and yet I would most likely be offended. But Aurelius’ question and can also be looked at from another perspective: Who am I to blame someone else for doing what they think is right? I wouldn’t want it done to me. What gives me the right to do it to someone else?
I am going to be attending that meeting again today. As I sit there I need to consider the following:
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. –Wayne Dyer