Little Waves of Destruction

Saturday afternoon shopping and errands. I’m not going to lie. This is not my favorite way to spend a Saturday afternoon. On the way, I suggest we eat lunch first. We go to Willy Taco.

Chips, salsa, and a big glass of some kind of fruit punch for the kiddo. He is playing with his Nintendo Switch. Occasionally, we let him bring it in. Today is one of those days. After all, it is Saturday afternoon and who wants to spend the day riding around shopping.

He reaches for a chip. On the way to his mouth, he clips the fruit punch. Fruit punch and ice go tsunami across the table, across the plates, and over the Switch.

My instinct is to add a little kindling to the fire. This is an interruption to a pleasant lunch. What are you thinking? How could you do something like that? Way to go, you ruined your Switch. These are the initial thoughts that course through my head. I look at him. Tears are starting to roll down his cheek. We clean up and Mama goes to the restroom.

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2003. It was our first date. We are sipping on beer in our little booth at a local Mexican restaurant or maybe it was Applebee’s. Eighteen years ago, and the details are a little fuzzy. What isn’t fuzzy is me knocking over my beer. Sadly, this is not my first tabletop tsunami experience. The cute girl sitting across from me, Bethany, gets the full wave of ice-cold hops and barley.

A few years later, and that same girl somehow became my wife. My mom is visiting us in Tallahassee. Coincidentally, we are back at the local Applebee’s for dinner. We are sipping beer and enjoying our appetizers. I reach for a chip and initiate the next storm of destruction. This time my wife is spared. Thank God! Unfortunately, my mother is in the impact zone and the storm surge hits her full in the lap. All I can do is shake my head as I reach for any napkins in the vicinity.

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About a week or two ago, I was listening to a Podcast. I can’t remember which one, but one little snippet stuck with me. They were talking about kids and their coordination. Overcoming clumsiness is a part of their development. How ridiculous it is to be upset with them when this happens. The conversation resonated with me, because I wondered how often I spoke what was in my mind when Alec had an accident. There is no use crying over spilt milk unless your parent makes you cry. In my mind, I told myself I can’t be that person that makes these molehill accidents into a tragic mountain.

As I mentioned, mama, that same cute girl from before, goes to the restroom. I look over at Alec and think about that Podcast episode. I tell him, “It is okay. Accidents happen, and this was an accident. There is no need to be upset. We are not upset. Your Switch is okay.” Bethany comes back from the restroom, and we resume our lunch as if nothing ever happened.

The moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.

Eckhart Tolle

The hard thing is not voicing those initial snap judgments that come to mind. By taking a moment to see the big picture and keeping my snide comments to myself, I prevent the accident from escalating into something else. We are all human and prone to accidents. In this case, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I only hope he can gain a better control of his motor skills earlier than I did in life.

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Feature photo by Anshu A on Unsplash