I have always been on journey, looking and searching for something. And though something is not nothing, I have rarely been focused on one thing. As a soldier way back in the 1990’s, my focus turned to reading. I used to love reading as a child and for some reason stopped. Out of pure boredom during a field exercise, I borrowed a used Anne Rice book. I loved it. After finishing it, I read almost all of her books. Next, I looked back on the books I had a mild interest in during my high school years. I started to reread them. I started reading classics. At the time I was relatively young in my newfound reading hobby. I actually started running out of things to read, because I really did not know what to read. Back then, my reading journey took me on an amazing ride, so much that some of my most memorable times involved a book.
In time, I began to wonder if I had a story to tell. That simple thought invaded my being. It started to transform my view of what my journey was supposed to be. It was also one of the most overwhelming ideas I ever had. How could I with very little training be so bold as to assume that I could be a writer? But the idea was eating at me, and so I began to dabble.
Dabble is what I did for years. People would ask what I wanted to do in the future. I would tell them that I wanted to write. They would ask me what I had written. I would respond with a pitiful “not much.” Why, because I dabbled. I wasn’t regimented. I wasn’t disciplined. I even used to tell myself I needed to live more to be able to write the books I wanted. I wasn’t experienced enough. The truth was I was just a dabbler pretending to want to be a writer.
My first blog was short-lived. It was after the birth of my son, Alec. I felt this overwhelming need to start writing again, if not for my sake, then at least for his sake. I realized that one of the most important things I could do in my life was be a really great father. It was my duty. Part of that duty was to leave a legacy. I wanted to let my son know of his heritage. I owed that to him and my ancestors. In addition, I wanted to let him know of my journey. There were a lot of ups and even more downs, and more importantly there was a lesson for each one.
That first blog started off well, but then I lost focus. I thought I had to have a really interesting picture for each post. The pictures became as important as the writing. I also tried self-hosting. When things started to go wrong technically, I stopped writing just so I could focus on getting the website functional again. Soon, I wasn’t writing at all.
So here is my next go-around. I still have a legacy to leave for Alec. In the last two years I have stayed busy (procrastinating as a writer). Hopefully, this blog will demonstrate that I am still evolving as a person. My focus has become singular. I’m locked into the idea that I need to become a complete person, and this journey will be part of the legacy I leave for my son and for those that take the time to read this blog. Thank you.