Category Archives: On Wisdom

Wisdom First

Does anybody begin life wishing for wisdom? Is that what one wants to be when they get older? Or is it a good job, a big house, lots of money, and of course lots of stuff? And when we come to the end, to our deathbeds, will any of those things matter? Hoping to have it ready available to you in the afterlife, will you bury your wealth with you like the kings of old?

“Yes, getting your wish would have been so nice. But isn’t that exactly why pleasure trips us up? Instead, see if these things might be even nicer—a great soul, freedom, honesty, kindness, saintliness. For there is nothing so pleasing as wisdom itself, when you consider how sure-footed and effortless the works of understanding and knowledge are.” –Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5:9

Ah wisdom, that which Solomon chose first and foremost when God asked him what he wanted most. Imagine the djinn bursting forth from the lamp granting you any wish you desired, what would you say? Would you choose riches, power, or maybe a long life? Or would you, like Solomon, ask for wisdom? Riches come and go. Power is fleeting. Even a long life eventually comes to an end. But wisdom, it was there in the beginning and will be there in the end.

“How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is preferable to silver.” –Proverbs 16:16

Yet so often, we go for the riches first. It is the gold we are after, thinking that’s the vehicle that will get us to all the places we want to go. But if going for the riches is our priority, when will we go for the wisdom?

“Riches have shut off many a man from the attainment of wisdom; poverty is unburdened and free from care…After you have come to possess all other things, shall you then wish to possess wisdom also? Is philosophy to be the last requisite in life—a sort of supplement? Nay, your plan should be this: be a philosopher now, whether you have anything or not—for if you have anything, how do you know that you have not too much already?—but if you have nothing, seek understanding first, before anything else. “But,” you say, “I shall lack the necessities of life.” In the first place, you cannot lack them; because nature demands but little, and the wise man suits his needs to nature.”  –Seneca, Letter 17: On Philosophy and Riches

My wish is that you would push to become a millionaire. Oh, don’t get me wrong, not exchanging in gold but in the currency of wisdom.

“There is something infinitely better than to be a millionaire of money, and that is to be a millionaire of brains, of culture, of helpfulness to one’s fellows, a millionaire of character –a gentleman.” –Orison Swett Marden, Pushing to the Front

Hush and Listen

 

The scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for the intelligent. –Proverbs 14:6

If a student mocks his professor or the professor’s lessons, he will never learn. Emerson said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” If you believe everyone has something of value that you can learn, then being humble and respectful is your best means to acquire this type of education. Well, actually there is one more thing you need, and it is something you can’t do if you are talking.

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Merriam-Webster

You need to listen. Not only with your ears, even though that is a good place to start, but you need to listen with your whole body. You need to be observant. You need to watch others. You need to read what they write. The signs pointing you in the direction you need to go are out there. All you have to do is pay attention to them. Watch. Listen. Learn.

Alec has gotten into the habit lately of always saying, “I know.” It bothers me because I was the same way at his age. I was a know-it-all and it prevented me from learning more. When you are blessed with a few fast-firing synapses, the brain sometimes has trouble dealing with pride. And if pride comes before a fall (Proverbs 16:8), thinking you have knowledge that you don’t is a recipe for disaster.

According to the Army (FM 24-18), communication is made up of two parts: the sender and the receiver. Breakdowns between the two can mean the difference between victory and defeat. Such an occurrence may be the reason why the French language is not considered a universal language and Napoleon isn’t considered some god-like figure in our history books.

Who lost the battle of Waterloo?

There are many reasons why the French did not win this battle. It could have been Marshal Ney’s insane decision to send wave after wave of French cavalry against British squares, resulting in a loss of over 8,000 men and their horses. There are few historians that like the point the finger at Emmanuel, Marquis de Grouchy. He was a newly installed Marshal of France and led part of l’Armée du Nord. He was supposed to prevent the Prussians from entering the battle. The communication he received from his emperor, Napoleon, was not clear to him. The messages he sent back were even more confusing, but Napoleon brushed it off. As a result, the Prussians entered the battle and a third of l’Armée du Nord never made it to the fight.

Finally, I triumphed even at Waterloo, and was immediately hurled into the abyss. On my right, the extraordinary maneuvers of Grouchy, instead of securing victory, completed my ruin. –Napoleon Bonaparte*

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Just finished this account by Bernard Cornwell. Truly an amazing read.

The scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, because he is in a constant state of poor communication. The wisdom coming to him is broken and distorted. Why? Because the scoffer keeps stepping over the sender’s information. In other words, he can’t take his finger on the microphone button long enough to hear the call on the radio. The sender is doing his part, but the scoffer can’t receive the knowledge.

Turn up the television and try to read a thought-provoking book. It is hard to do. The intelligent get this. They know to filter out the noise, including their own noises, and concentrate on the information coming in. The intelligent are listening. They are observing. Gathering knowledge this way is easy.

My son:

You think you know it. But even if you do, be patient and listen. You may just learn something different. It isn’t always easy to do this. I know. I have struggled with it myself. But if you want to grow in knowledge, this is the way. Now hush, my child. Listen. Observe. Learn. Knowledge is there, waiting for you to receive it.

*Charles Angelique Francois Huchet comte de La Bedoyere, The Memoirs of the Public and Private Life of Napoleon Bonaparte Vol. 2 (London: George Virtue, 1827) 815. Taken from https://napoleon-series.org

When I Let Go

If you have arrived into a state of being that is less than you imagined. If you don’t like where you are. If the path you have followed turned out to be the wrong path. How do you correct the course and get to where you want to go?

You start by letting go. You have to let go of all the things that brought you to your current state. You have to change. You cannot repeat the same behaviors and expect a different result. It was those behaviors that prevented you from your success. It was those behaviors that you now have to strip away from your life. You have to change. You have to let go.

Identify the area(s) in your life that you are not happy about. Examine the behaviors involved. Begin to make the changes. They don’t have to be radical changes in the beginning. They can be incremental. Do it long enough, and in time you will be amazed of the progress. Start now. Let go of the old ways.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. –Socrates

My metamorphosis isn’t complete. The process began years ago, but I was resistant to the change. I knew I needed to change, but it was hard to let go. I wasn’t happy with my physical condition. Lack of attention to my diet and an inconsistent exercise regime is a recipe for mediocrity. At my best, I was only mediocre. That is not where I wanted to be. I had to change. I had to let go. But it wasn’t only in my body that change was needed. I needed a change in my heart and a change in my mind. And though I have started making changes, I am far from where I need to be. It is process. A very long process that requires my constant examination of what I am doing. Keeping a journal has truly helped.

Why I am doing it? Because I can be better. I haven’t added enough value to this world, which means I haven’t maximized my potential. And if I am not maximizing my potential, then I am not getting the most out of this life. If I don’t change, I cannot become what I might be.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. –Lao Tzu

I have spent weeks meditating on this quote. I don’t know what I might be. All I know is that I am moving in that direction. It is my path. The only thing preventing me from my destiny is holding on to old me, the old ideas, and the old behaviors. I have to let go.

Repeated Folly

In an ideal world, we should grow in wisdom as we grow in years. Wouldn’t it be a shame if we continued to make the same mistakes over and over? And yet, how many of us still do it? Do you still make the same financial mistakes, still eat the things you know you shouldn’t, or engage in the same aimless pursuits that neither benefit you nor your family?

To grow in wisdom, we have to stop the cycle of bad decision making. Regardless of our age, we have to grow up. The poor choices we made in our youth cannot be the same poor choices me make in our senior years.

Aristotle was correct in stating that it takes bravery to overcome your desires. The easy path will not get you the results you were hoping for. We live in a world where consumer debt is a normal aspect of life. Rather than working and saving up for a desired item, we rush to buy it now. What a shame when we are still paying off that debt long after the item is no longer useful. Wouldn’t it be an even greater shame if we never learned the lesson and kept repeating this cycle our whole lives? The brave person says no. She says I will not give in to the immediate gratification but will wait for the greater reward.

Seneca’s Letters From a Stoic has become one of my favorite philosophical resources. The wisdom found in his works are timeless. Take for instance his teachings in the 27th letter: On the Good Which Abides:

Count your years, and you will be ashamed to desire and pursue the same things you desired in your boyhood days. Of this one thing make sure against your dying days –let your faults die before you die. Away with those disordered pleasures, which must be dearly paid for; it is not only those which are to come that harm me, but also those which have come and gone.

So with guilty pleasures, regret remains even after the pleasures are over.

Virtue alone affords everlasting and peace-giving joy.

It would be a waste to spend our lives chasing the things which have no lasting value. As children, this course of action might have seemed acceptable. But as adults, this behavior is folly. If however we choose to live a virtuous life, we can find a joy beyond our wildest imagination.

Build the Wall

 

 

I was watching the cartoon “Justin Time” with Alec one morning, and the topic was about The Great Wall of China (S1:E9). In the episode Justin asked his friend Olive why there was a wall. Olive’s response was, “to keep the people on the other side on the other side.” In the U.S., the debate continues over whether or not to build a wall. For some, it is important to keep the other people on the other side. Others believe we should let them all in.

What is the purpose of a wall, whether it is around your house, your school, or your nation? When my wife and I built the fence around our backyard, we wanted to accomplish two things. First, it kept our dogs and young toddler confined to the backyard and prevented them from getting out and possibly wandering the streets. It was for their protection and for our peace of mind. What was the other purpose? The fence was built to keep the people on the other side of the fence on the other side. If they wanted to get inside the fence, they had to be admitted through the front door. Obviously, their identity and intent was established before they were allowed entry. The fence serves its purposes, and as a result we have a certain measure of security.

 

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The Great Wall of China served its purpose as well, which was to prevent an invasion of the northern enemies. The Chinese kept the people on the other side out. If someone wanted to get on the Chinese side of the wall, their identity and purpose would have to be established first. There are some Americans who want this kind of wall too. The ones in favor of it say it is prevent potential terror threats from entering our borders. They want to establish the identity and intent of would-be entrants. Not much different than the Chinese with the Great Wall, not much with you and your fence. People on both sides of this debate have some very strong feelings concerning a wall in the U.S. I have my feelings, but what this post is really about is building a wall around your mind.

Now, I am not saying we shouldn’t have open minds. My goal is to emulate Henry David Thoreau’s idea to “be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.” I want to have an open mind and encourage it in others, but I think you also need to build a wall around your mind. If you are not carefully vetting what is going in, then how can you monitor what is taking up a permanent residence within your brain?

How about music for an example? Say you hear a really good tune on the radio. The music sounds great and the vocals are really on point. Never mind the actual lyrics, you like what you hear, and you hear it over and over again. But what are those words? Is the message positive or is it something else? There are some really great sounding songs out these days with a message that is not positive. The messages coming over the radio in some songs are ones of drugs, violence, and the degradation of women. There are artists that will glamorize these topics, make them cool. Now you might be thinking, “This is a childish example. Those songs don’t really harm anybody. They are just songs.” And you might be correct that this evil message cannot invade your mind, but what if you are wrong? Or what about your child, with his young impressionable mind? Does it have an effect on him as he listens to it in the car while you are singing along?

About a week ago, my son had trouble sleeping and was scared. My wife was concerned and asked what was wrong. He said every time he closed his eyes he kept picturing a clown eating kids. Turns out that one of the kids in his Kindergarten class was taken to the movie “It” by his parents. The kid came to school the next day and told all his classmates. Chances are my son also seen the trailer on TV. The impression left on his mind was very real, enough to keep him awake at night.

Is this message appropriate for a 5 year old? The lasting effects of this one instance may not be great, but what about constant exposure to that and similar messages? We can rationalize it and say it is not that bad, but how many times can we do it before the “not so bad” imaginary violence becomes real? If we can justify listening to songs that degrade other people, how long does it take before we justify this belief in our minds?

Building a wall that vets all potential entrants into the nation may be a difficult debate going on right now. The choice to build a fence around your backyard to keep your kids safe and keep undesirable people out is a less difficult decision. Fortifying your mind against evil influences and properly vetting what your mind is exposed to should be a no-brainer. Protect your mind, build the wall.

It is possible that my view on a wall around your mind is incorrect. I would love to hear your comments.

“If anyone can refute me- show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective- I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone.” –Marcus Aurelius

Soul to the Sun

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If you are driving north of Jacksonville along A1A, pull over when you see the small sign for Little Black Rock, not too far up ahead as you pass Big Talbot Island State Park. After you park, you will find a trail going into the North Florida jungle. Walk along this trail for about a mile, and as go, you will notice you can no longer hear the sounds of cars but instead the sounds of waves. Crest a sand dune and behold an almost always deserted beach filled with an amazing spectacle. On the other side of this dune is one of my favorite beaches and maybe my most memorable. After I left the Army, I used to surf up and down the Florida Atlantic Coast, but when I went to this beach, I left my board at home. A small barrier island protects the shore from the waves. Over that dune was a mystery I never tried to solve for fear the magic of my ignorance would be shattered. There are huge trees, my guess oaks, laying on their sides with the remains of their branches and roots laid bare to the sun. They are bleached white from the decades, possibly even centuries of exposure. How did they get there? I have no idea, but the power of my imagination has concocted many ideas. I doubt the gods fought a battle and these trees are the victims, but one can only imagine.

My friends and I use to come to this beach and climb and play among the trees as if we were kids again with little worries of the world. The trees were amazing, but for me they were not the best feature this beach had to offer. At the north end of the beach, there is a natural barrier. The ground becomes rocky. A black slick mud covers the ground. It is slowly hardening destined to become a permanent feature on the beach. Over the years, small cliffs have formed from this mud. They are not difficult to pass. They might be a deterrent to some, but the prize on the other side is worth the trouble. Beyond the cliffs is another part of the beach. Even more secluded is this perfect picture of a beach. It is smooth and crescent-shaped with the sea grape-covered dune and palm trees visible in the background. I would often go here and sit at the edge of the water. I would close my eyes and become one with my surroundings. I would hear the soft lapping of the waves and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I felt like I could sit here for an eternity, meditating, one with the universe. I had so many problems back then and didn’t know how to fix any of them. I may have been having a difficult go at the time, but this moment on the beach was my brief respite, which I so desperately needed. This was my therapy. It may also explain why many other times I would sit on my longboard beyond the break, close my eyes, and search for that oneness.  It has been many years since I have taken that journey down the trail, across the trees, and over the cliffs, but the powerful memories of that beach still permeates my soul. Even now, I can go outside, feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and hearken back to those memories and that peace.

I don’t know how much time I have left on this Earth. It could be decades. It could be minutes. William Penn said, “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” When it is all over, do we want to look back and say, “I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so much time on the things that didn’t matter and spent more on the ones that did?” You can’t go back in the past, but you can fix your present and make the most of the time you have left. There have been times I wish I could have gone back in time, but then… I probably would have never made it to that beach.

Response to Adversity

 

I had a service appointment for my car this morning. My overnight shift at work ended at 4:40 a.m., and I drove across the street to the service center to wait until they opened up at 6:30. I brought Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life to read while waiting. I finished up Rule #8: Tell the truth-or, at least, don’t lie. This is an excellent chapter about telling the truth to others and to yourself.

My car was done by 7, and I was soon on the highway home. At 7:15 my newly serviced car greeted the rear bumper of the car in front of me. I slowed down when I saw the brake lights ahead. But when the car in front of me made a sharp dip at the front, I knew my car would not be able to slow down in time. We made contact. It wasn’t much and nobody was hurt, but still contact is contact. We called the police and did all the things you do post-accident. The officer issued me a citation, told me he understood the situation, and if I appeared in court, they would help me out. I was the one at fault.

If this would have happened 5-10 years ago, I may have been inclined to blame anything and everything. It wasn’t my fault that the car two ahead slammed on their brakes. Not my fault that I haven’t gotten enough sleep on this overnight schedule. Not mine that it was past my usual bedtime due to the service on the car. Heck, it wasn’t my fault that the Fates lined up against me and dealt this blow.

I could have possibly spun a good story spreading blame, but who the person I am today is not the same person from the past that would have done that. I have been on a stoic journey that is constantly gauging my response to my external environment. I just read Rule #8 about telling the truth. The truth is that I hit the car in front of me. It wasn’t intentional, but I did it. Nobody else, me.

Now the reparations need to be made. I owe the legal system and the insurance company. This will cost my family money that could be better utilized elsewhere. This will cost me time away from work to make a court appearance. When it is all said and done, there will be a price required for what I did.

Everything in my life seems to be a lesson these days. Take my health for example. I may be my fittest in years. I exercise every day. I eat healthy. I believe I am doing all the right things. A few weeks ago, I got the flu. How could this be? I’m doing all the right things. But no matter how strong and fit I make my body, it is still a fragile, frail human body. It was a ridiculous thought that I could overcome the ability to get sick through fitness. Maybe I can offset a few of the effects or recover faster, but be immune to illness? What’s next in this illogical thought process? Overcome death somehow. Absurd.

The lesson that I am learning is not how to control future events. I can prepare and try to prevent all I want, but I am far from omnipotent. The lesson is about how I respond to adversity. Can I tell the truth even in difficult situations, to others and to myself? Can I not be angry when I feel like I have been dealt a bad hand? This is life. The opportunity for learning these lessons will be present until death, and it is not just a lesson for me. It is one for my son. It is one for everybody. Good times are not guaranteed to last forever. How will you respond in the dark days ahead? When confronted with adversity, will you be able to tell the truth?

Man is not affected by events, but the view he takes of them. -Epictetus

Silence Is Golden

They are everywhere. You know them, if not by sight, then by the constant noise uttered from their mouths.  I have worked with several over the years. One in particular, couldn’t shut up to save his life. He was always talking. And the more he talked, the more foolish he sounded. The guy was ultimately looking for attention and trying to get it the only way he knew how. In the end, the attention he was seeking cost him his job. He should have just stayed silent.

Another guy comes to mind that I still work with from time to time. I wrote about him once and called him the mechanic, as that was his background. When I first met him, he seemed different. He hardly ever spoke. In this day and age, that silence is rare. I asked him once about it. I wanted to know why he was so quiet. I will never forget his answer. He said, “I don’t want to sound like an idiot.” Can you imagine the wisdom in this response? Through not speaking, nobody would ever know if he was or was not an idiot. His silence would never give others the opportunity to find out. His silence was indeed wisdom. His silence was golden.

But what if he was lacking in wisdom? Wouldn’t he be considered a fool? It is not something any would desire. What good is there in being a fool, unless you are a silent fool? As Frances Bacon said, “Silence is the virtue of fools.” If you are going to be a fool, at least you don’t have to broadcast it to the world.

From what I could tell, the mechanic was by no means foolish. And for someone in his early twenties, he was even wise beyond his years. But the world we live in is quick to judge that silence for something else. There are those that want to think something is wrong with the quiet person. However, the Stoic philosopher, Epictetus had a response for that, “If your silence is mistaken for ignorance and you are not upset by it, then it is a real sign of progress.” Imagine that, truly water off a duck’s back. Don’t let what others think bother you. You have your reason for silence –to not sound like an idiot. Now you are making progress towards that endeavor.

It is all well and good that I can make this observation in others, but how does this apply to me? Seeing this wisdom in others does no good if I cannot apply it to my own life. I have been guilty of letting my mouth run too much. On occasion, I have deserved that moniker, “acting the fool.” My most powerful words have been the ones most thought out. My greatest points did not come from rambling, but from careful thinking. I have to be on guard and not allow my tongue to get out of control. If I do not, I may be in danger of receiving that title I truly detest: fool.

There is another area in which I need to be careful. I am on a journey. Over the last six months, my life has gone through some amazing transformations. I have known for some time that I needed a change. I was not happy with the direction my life was going. I started to become really conscious of what I put into my body and mind. In a sense, I have been brainwashing myself on ways to change my life for the better. Some colleagues have noticed this change and have been asking questions about it. I have been rather free in describing what I am going through, but even here I have to be careful and not get carried away. Once again the words of Epictetus come to mind, “Don’t brag about the principles you follow in life. Don’t even mention them to others. Instead, act according to those principles.” Action is a powerful thing and often speaks for itself. I can always be like the mechanic, who is an incredibly efficient worker whose actions speak louder than his words.

My son:

Those who spare their words are truly knowledgeable, and those who are discreet are intelligent. -Proverbs 17:27

Act Now

“And even if thou art pained because thou art not doing some particular thing which seems to thee to be right, why dost thou not rather act than complain?” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

You know, it is never too late to correct your course. You know the right thing to do. Not doing it gives you pain. Change the direction of your life. You are not being dealt a harsh blow. Complaining about it changes nothing. Remove the pain by doing the right thing. Action always trump wishes. Doing the right thing is a supreme act.

Your Best Personal Defense

When are you most vulnerable to attack?

I spend much of my time trying to prepare my personal defenses. I want to actively put myself into position where a personal attack against me is not possible.That means I need to be physically strong, mentally strong, and of course spiritually strong. Compromising your character is out of the question. Your name, which is your most valuable asset, has to be impregnable.

When am I my weakest? When am I most easily attacked? When does the enemy, all those outside influences seeking to do you harm, have the greatest opportunity to strike. The enemy attacks when your mind is at it weakest.

Marcus Aurelius said, “You have power of your mind – not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” You are weakest, when you lose control over your mind. When are you susceptible to losing that control? It is when you are angry. It is hard to be angry and think straight. It is hard to make rational decisions in anger. This is when you are at your weakest. This is when you are vulnerable to attack. Remember your character is on the line. Your name is on the line. Hold the line! Do not become a victim of your own stupidity.

My son:

A city breached and left defenseless are those who do not control their temper. -Proverbs 25:28