Category Archives: Courage

A Revelation in Defeat

The Merchant.

Somewhere in the late 4th Century B.C., the ship casted off with all the merchant’s wealth invested in the purple dye contained within in the holds. This was the big score. Once traded, he would be at the top of the game. His family and business would be secure well into his retirement. There was only one problem. The ship never made it to its destination. His fortunes, hopes, and dreams lay at the bottom of the sea.

The Baller.

After 2 NBA championships, the sky was the limit for this 11x all-star. He was at the top of his game with many years still left to play. The preparation he put into his craft both on and off the court was paying off in spades. In February 2016, He was gearing up for another championship run with his team when things turned bad. A blood clot put him on the sidelines. At first, it was a setback. Then, it became a career-ender.

The Boxer.

He was a petty thief sent to a reform school at the age of ten. At fourteen, he learned to box and won a gold medal in the Olympics three years later. At twenty-one, he was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. But like most fighters, he eventually lost the belt.

It is easy to do anything in victory. It is in defeat that a man reveals himself.

Floyd Patterson

Life was good for the merchant Zeno. But what happened to his life after he lost it all? Zeno turned inward. Not in a depressing, moping kind of way. He didn’t turn to drugs and alcohol, binge watch the local circus, or engage in idle amusements to while away the time before his death. Nope! Instead, he got to work. He realized the tragedy he faced was not the end of the world. He started a school and created a philosophy that still is practiced by many today. Now, he is known as the father of Stoicism.

Players give their lives to their sports. At an early age, they trade their childhood and teenage years for the game. When the other kids are sleeping in, playing around (or goofing off), they are in the weight room, on the track, or at the practice facility going through their drills. The fraction of the percent of the players who become professionals had to rely on more than talent and the gifts their Creator endowed them with. It was their discipline, persistence, and tenacity that pushed them onto the big stage.

And what happens when it is all over? What’s next when their bodies can no longer handle the rigors of playing at an elite level? Many ride off into the sunset and into obscurity. Others become regular people working regular jobs. And then there are some, like Chris Bosh, who after being forced into retirement from a blood clot, became an author, community leader, and inspiration for the next generation. It is people like him that see meaning beyond the game. They see that winning is more than numbers on a stat sheet. It is the tally at the end of one’s life of bringing value to the world.

It is a fact that fighters get hit. They will get knocked down, and they will lose. The mark of a champion, however, is that they get back up. They don’t stay down. When Floyd Patterson lost his championship belt, he could have said he had enough. Instead, he became the first two-time heavyweight champion of the world. And though he never recaptured the belt a third time, it wasn’t for a lack of trying. It wasn’t in the easy times that he became a champion. It was in the struggle where his true self was revealed.

We have all suffered setbacks and losses in our lives. We have all been knocked down. This is nothing new. Losing doesn’t make us special. Not everybody will get back up. But the ones that do, they are the true champions of life. The true strength of a person is revealed in the struggle. It is in getting back up.

How to Carry the Load

In almost every onboarding presentation I have watched when starting a new job, I have seen the same message. This message is so important that most employers make a quarterly or at least an annual reminder. The message is about ergonomics, specifically how we should pick up a heavy item. Here are the general rules:

  • Plan your path.
  • Lift with your legs and not your back.
  • When transporting the item, keep the load close to your body and do not overextend yourself.
  • If the item is too heavy, have someone assist you.

With the high price that comes with from a work-related injury, this makes sense for both the employer and the employee.

As a weightlifter and personal trainer, I cringe whenever I see bad lifting mechanics. Bad mechanics have put me on the sidelines too often in my younger years. The continual pain in my back, though not initially caused from poor lifting techniques, is reminder enough to practice good form whenever I pick up a heavy object. Good technique practiced consistently will allow me to pick up heavier loads and continue picking them up in my senior years.

It’s not the load that breaks us down, it’s the way you carry it. -C.S. Lewis

These words from C.S. Lewis hit the mark when it comes to physically carrying a load. If we carry it poorly, we will eventually break down. However, physical loads are not the only things we carry. Our hearts and minds also bear a load that breaks us down if not properly carried. Excess baggage not properly dealt with can weigh us down. If we do not learn to handle this weight, we will stumble and falter.

It takes courage to shoulder a burden and carry it to our destination. If we want to make it to the end, we must practice good technique. This will allow us to handle greater weight and carry it longer. This is of course for the weight we must carry. If it is not necessary to carry it, it would be in our best interest to simply let it go.

Confidence for the Win

Merriam-Webster

Belief in one’s own abilities. How do you get this belief? Hone your abilities. Practice. The speaker that lacks confidence is lacking in practice and experience. The singer that didn’t memorize the words to the song will lack the confidence to perform on the stage.

Why is my son not a better wrestler? It is not because of physical ability. It is because he lacks confidence. How so? He is a novice. He only knows a few techniques and has yet to master them. His teammates and opponents have more years of experience. They have a larger arsenal of techniques and moves at their disposal. They have spent more time practicing. But as Alec gets more time on the mat, as he grows in experience and continues to practice, his confidence will improve. He will become a better wrestler.

If you don’t have confidence, you’ll always find a way not to win.

Carl Lewis

Winning and winning consistently is a product of confidence. It is a product of a belief in your abilities. That belief comes through practice, which in time will lead to mastery.

Obstacles in Life

There was a change in Thursday’s practice schedule. It was a little chaotic, and Alec didn’t have a chance to warm-up. This was my fault. I should have had him do it on his own or work a few minutes with the other class.

Right away, I could tell something was off. So far this season, Alec has had phenomenal practices. He has been attentive to the lectures and has given 100% in the drills. I have been happy with his progress. But at this practice, that wasn’t the case. He was distracted during the lectures which made his drill practice subpar. And then when it was time to wrestle, he had no confidence and was beaten by everyone he went against. What was going on?

After every practice, Alec and I have an After-Action Review (AAR). The one after this practice didn’t go well. I highlighted all the things he did wrong. Usually, I start with all the positives and then proceed to the areas he can work on. But in this case, it was all negative. As his athletic manager, I dropped the ball and didn’t consider the underlying factors. Later that night, we talked about what could have been better. We both agreed this was a one-off event, and we would do our best to learn from it and then move on. We also talked about why he was wrestling and its real-world applications.

The Obvious

The obvious application is how to handle a physical confrontation with another person. Wrestling is a great preventative measure against bullies. Bullies do not prefer to prey on a superior target. It does not enhance their reputations if they cannot defeat their opponent. Therefore, the bully looks to target a victim that is deemed mentally and/or physically weaker. A strong capable body and mind is one’s best defense against the bully.

In Relation to Math

As a part of our conversation, we discussed math. Mathematicians must be able to solve the problem in front of them. These problems range in complexity. Some problems are seen often. Once we understand the steps to solve them,  the problems become easier. But other problems are more complex and require more time and effort. Fortunately, most problems have a solution.

The wrestler’s problem is the opponent. The skillset, speed, and strength of the opponent determines the complexity. And like math, there is usually an available solution. The winner of the match is the one who discovers the solution the quickest.

In NOT Giving Up

Wrestling is one of the great sports that effectively taxes the mind and body. Enough pain and frustration will cause the faint of heart to throw in the towel. For the wrestler, the key to victory lies in overcoming the desire to give up. After all, the last one standing gets the crown.

Alec may not participate in the sport of wrestling his whole life. Yet, he will be wrestling throughout his lifetime. He is going to face situations where quitting will be an available option. Whether it is frustration with friends and family, co-workers and supervisors, or kings and countries, he will have to navigate seemingly insurmountable obstacles. What he does now will develop him to meet those future challenges head-on.

The real obstacles in life lie in the heart of man.

Bertrand Russell

The real beauty of wrestling is that it develops confidence and courage. To show hesitation is to show a lack of both. Currently, Alec has neither as a wrestler. He will get there, but he isn’t there yet. My job as his “manager” is to get him there. Of course, I want him to win, but winning at this stage is less important than his journey to excellence. Time under tension is one the best ways to develop muscles. Time under tension (experience) on the mat is going build both his confidence and courage. It is going to enable him to overcome the obstacles he is facing now and the future real obstacles he is going to face in life.

Difficulty shows what men are. Therefore when a difficulty falls upon you, remember that God, like a trainer of wrestlers, has matched you with a rough young man. Why? So that you may become an Olympic conqueror; but it is not accomplished without sweat.

Epictetus

A Champ’s Price

The great champions made what they did look easy. Of course they were talented, but that is a characteristic that can only take someone so far. The magic ingredient is the work they combined with their talent. Endless hours went into perfecting the basics. They ate, slept, and practiced.

As Babe Ruth said, “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.” Champions don’t give up. They get knocked down, probably more than anybody else, and then they get back up. Again, and again. And after each time they get up, the knockdowns come fewer and farther in between.

If you are going to be a champion, you must be willing to pay a greater price.

Bud Wilkinson

The greater price is what separates them from the rest of the field. Comfort is an after-thought. Complacency is unacceptable. Only a select few can be a champion—only those willing to pay a greater price.

The lesser price is for everybody else. It is for the ordinary. And it doesn’t matter if it is in sports or everyday life, champions pay a greater price.

What price am I willing to pay? I don’t have to look far to see the ordinary. If I settle for being like everybody else, if I settle for average, then that is all I will ever be. I won’t be a champion if I settle. If I don’t do things different, then how can I expect to be different?

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.

Jim Rohn

Feature photo by Steven Erixon on Unsplash.

Home of the Brave

As a parent, the line is razor thin. On the one side is protection. My goal as a protective father is to ensure my son sees adulthood, preferably with a sound mind and all his body parts. On the other side is freedom. I want him to have the freedom to choose, to explore, to do all the mischievous things boys should do. I don’t want him to get hurt. But at the same time, I don’t want him to be coddled to the point that he grows up to be something less than a man.

I think of all the stupid stuff I did as a kid. At least, my hindsight says it was stupid. How many times did I do something dangerous, get lost in the woods, or be somewhere I shouldn’t have been? In some cases, I was lucky to survive. In all cases, I was learning how to live and how not to die. With freedom came risk. And in every instance, freedom was preferable to it counterpart.

This nation will remain the land of the free as long as it is the home of brave.

Elmer Davis

This land was built with freedom as a focal point. To ensure that freedom and pass it down to the next generation, men and women had to sacrifice. The tree of liberty was refreshed in blood (Jefferson). Bravery was the prerequisite to freedom.

Today is a day to remember the brave men and women who have protected Liberty’s torch and ensured its light will continue to shine for the next generation. And the best way to pay honor to that sacrifice is to do more than offer a small word of gratitude. It is to be brave ourselves and to raise the next generation to be brave. This is the only way to guarantee our freedom. It is the only proper way to pay homage to those who gave so much.

Don’t Tread on Me

I recollected that her eye excelled in brightness, that of any other animal, and that she has no eye-lids. She may therefore be esteemed an emblem of vigilance. She never begins an attack, nor, when once engaged, ever surrenders: She is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage. As if anxious to prevent all pretensions of quarreling with her, the weapons with which nature has furnished her, she conceals in the roof of her mouth, so that, to those who are unacquainted with her, she appears to be a most defenseless animal; and even when those weapons are shown and extended for her defense, they appear weak and contemptible; but their wounds however small, are decisive and fatal. Conscious of this, she never wounds ’till she has generously given notice, even to her enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading on her.

-Excerpt from an article attributed to Benjamin Franklin originally published in The Pennsylvania Journal, 12 December 1775. Click here for the full letter.

The rattlesnake’s warning is distinctive. If you hear it, you know to stop, to look around, and to go the other way if possible. The rattlesnake is a fearsome creature, but he is not mean by nature. Instead, he is quite considerate. Compared to the other poisonous animals in the world, he is the only one to give you a warning. He says, “Think carefully before you tread on me. I don’t want to bite you, but I will if you force me to it.”

For centuries, the British were one of the dominant powers on this planet. They felt they could go wherever they wanted, rule where the profits were greatest, and generally walk all over everybody else. The American colonies didn’t prefer the British tyranny and responded by raising the Gadsden Flag. It was a symbol and a warning: If you tread on us, we will bite.

If we choose to be no more than clods of clay, then we shall be used as clods of clay for braver feet to tread on.

Marie Corelli

The world has changed considerably since those days in the late 1700’s. Does this mean people have changed? There are still those who think the world is theirs for the taking. They have no qualms trying to control those they deem inferior. And if we allow it, then we are no more than clods of clay for their feet. Like the early Colonials, we are faced with a choice. Do we passively surrender our freedoms, or do we do as the rattlesnake? If we choose freedom over tyranny, then we must sound the warning and let the oppressors know we can bite. We can fight back.

Happiness-Freedom-Courage

So many long for happiness, yet so many have yet to find a true and lasting form of it. Some would blame others for their inability to obtain it. Others would look for cheapened versions of it that only lasts a few moments before the rush dwindles and fades away.

Happiness is found within each of us. We cannot trust others to provide it for us. We must determine what it is and then work to discover it.

The secret to happiness is freedom…

The secret is freedom. But what is freedom? Is it the ability to do whatever one pleases? Would this not make one a slave to his desires? Freedom must go beyond base pleasure. It must speak of a higher nature, something more meaningful.

When I think of freedom, I think of the ability to operate without hindrance towards one’s goal. Freedom to pursue happiness.

and the secret of freedom is courage. -Thucydides

Simply stated, one cannot be afraid to take calculated risks. There is a chance of failure. Even the safest bets can go awry. But this should not deter us from trying. After all, our happiness, and our freedom, is on the line. If we fail, we should pause. We should look to see what went wrong and what can be done better. And after this moment, we get back up and try again. It is an endless cycle until we hit the mark, until we find the happiness we seek.

Feature photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash

Be Yourself

Popeye was one of my favorite cartoons as a child. He was a somewhat normal guy trying to do the right thing. When times got rough, he would crack open a can of performance enhancing spinach and solve the problem.

That is what I wanted to be like—a normal guy able to overcome the obstacles of life. Of course, I didn’t want to be in a position where I was always getting bullied, where I was forced to drink a cup of courage in my direst need, just able to survive to see the next day.

I yam what I yam and dats all what I yam. -Popeye the Sailor Man

I quoted the quote and sang the song, but back then I never considered taking it to heart. I am what I am. I am not Popeye, not like Mike (Jordan), or any other childhood hero. Nope. I am what I am. I can emulate the actions of my heroes and mentors, but in the end, I must remember:

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

Oscar Wilde

Make Use of Suffering

Suffering is inevitable. That may be something we might not want to hear, but it is true.

Our bodies will degenerate as we age. We can do our best to minimize the effects through nutrition, daily physical activity, and stress management. But despite our best efforts, we will succumb to age. And we can try our best to prevent accidents, but they will still happen. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, rest assured, someday you will suffer physically.

We can guard our souls, but they too will suffer. We will mourn others who suffer. We will mourn loved ones as they pass. Our hearts will long for that which it cannot have. Our souls will suffer.

And then there is the mind. Here the suffering may not be as acute. The body can numb some of its ailments. The soul can as well through the passage of time. Bur our minds are always working. Wanting for the body and soul to be at peace, it wants for the things they cannot have. It longs for something higher, for something better in the future. Although self-induced, the mind will also suffer.

You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.

Henri Frederic Amiel

To make use of the suffering is the art of living. Indeed, to suffer gracefully is truly an art! And some do this better than others. They take their internal battles stoically. Suffering is a test of the will. And where some, at the slightest hindrance, will go about in sack cloth and ashes proclaiming, “Woe is me,” others will hold their pains close and look for ways to overcome it. They go forth to do battle, and through grit and resolve return as conquerors. The suffering is looked upon as an opportunity, and they will find the greatest use for it.

Feature photo by mwangi gatheca on Unsplash