Heed the Red Flags

A few days ago, I encountered an issue at work that really upset me. For a few moments, I allowed myself to fixate on the problem until I became angry. It was at that moment a warning siren went off in my mind. What will happen if I take this anger too far?

For some, it doesn’t take much to set them off. The smallest infraction can flip the switch that causes their blood to boil. It is easy for me to spot it in others, but often I don’t even notice my own switch. And like the incident at work, it is my ego that allows that anger to rise. If I was less self-absorbed and had the ability to see the bigger picture, I would realize that this misdemeanor against me was not some sort of malicious scheme.

If in that moment of anger, if I could not get control of my emotions, I was at risk professionally. Saying the wrong thing could result in disciplinary measures, even termination. And though in my mind I would tell myself it would never go that far, the lack of self-control I was demonstrating would suggest it to be possible.

But I also had another thing to consider: my reputation. Do I want to be known as that guy who is emotionally unstable? Do I want to be the one who talks and writes about living a virtuous life but is unable to actually live it? Of course not. What kind of example would I be demonstrating to my peers? More importantly, what kind of example would I be demonstrating to my family, my son?

The red flags were a good reminder to slow down. They were saying to proceed with caution, because there were dangerous turns up ahead. I am thankful that the red flags popped up, and that I heeded their message. I took a moment to relax. I took a moment to breathe and see the issue from a different perspective. The anger ceased to rise, and I avoided any potential consequences.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow. –Chinese Proverb

The ability to be patient is the ultimate in self-control. If we take the focus off of ourselves, we can realize that mistakes occur often without malice. By maintaining poise in the situation, we can address the problem at hand, correct it, and move forward.

Your Best Personal Defense

When are you most vulnerable to attack?

I spend much of my time trying to prepare my personal defenses. I want to actively put myself into position where a personal attack against me is not possible.That means I need to be physically strong, mentally strong, and of course spiritually strong. Compromising your character is out of the question. Your name, which is your most valuable asset, has to be impregnable.

When am I my weakest? When am I most easily attacked? When does the enemy, all those outside influences seeking to do you harm, have the greatest opportunity to strike. The enemy attacks when your mind is at it weakest.

Marcus Aurelius said, “You have power of your mind – not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” You are weakest, when you lose control over your mind. When are you susceptible to losing that control? It is when you are angry. It is hard to be angry and think straight. It is hard to make rational decisions in anger. This is when you are at your weakest. This is when you are vulnerable to attack. Remember your character is on the line. Your name is on the line. Hold the line! Do not become a victim of your own stupidity.

My son:

A city breached and left defenseless are those who do not control their temper. -Proverbs 25:28